You know those sentences that as soon as they leave your lips, you know that surely no one else in the entire universe has said the same ridiculous statement? Those things you would’ve sworn that you would never ever say before you became a mom. The kind of sentences that make you wonder what your life has become. Because they’re usually too ridiculously crazy to remember, I’ve started logging my favorite ones in the notes on my phone. Here are three from the last couple of weeks, for example. . .
Quit eating her hair with a spoon.
I’m not going to sit by you again if you keep putting rice in my ear.
You! Bring my bra back right now!